Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
