I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So vagazzling was a success
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
