1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
