there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
