Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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