dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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