Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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