He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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