i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
