The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
