the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
