omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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