I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Operation Purity has been aborted
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
then he tried to convert me to islam
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
