Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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