The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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