That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
