Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
