handjob tips. give me some.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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