I wish my penis had an off switch
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
