I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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