I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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