On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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