i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
