Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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