I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
