umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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