Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
