How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
