Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
