I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
