My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
