yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
