im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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