so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
