If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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