Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
