Define "chronic" masturbator.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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