come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i drank out of a bidet.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
