i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
