you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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