After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
