Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
