She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
