TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
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Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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