I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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