didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
