Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the day after is always just damage control
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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