Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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