it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
