Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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