I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
