was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
