so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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