my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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