so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
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And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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