Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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