11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
