We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
