normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
